Like an Old Married Couple
by Wezoriland
Summary: Hunter and Sebastian are definitely dating; there's no way they couldn't be. They're joint at the hip and argue like an old married couple. The usual sexual tension has considerably lessened, and Nick's pretty sure they've gotten their freak-a-deak on in the janitor's closet more than once. Huntbastian's real, and anyone who says otherwise shall be sentenced to death. Period.


**Prompt **- "Fic where all the Warblers are 100% sure that Hunter and Sebastian are dating- not even in a "Oh man, you guys should totally date" way, but in a "Of course Sebastian and Hunter are dating, why do you ask?" way. And somehow Blaine is in the story too.. and… Something. I don't know. Um… yeah…"

**Summary - **"I don't see it. Are you sure you're not reading too much into this?" - "Gentlemen, it looks like we have a nonbeliever in our midst." - "Kill the nonbeliever!" - "Huntbastian's real; the unusual lack of sexual tension proves it." / or the one where the Warblers are convinced that Huntbastian is happening, even if Blaine isn't.

**Notes - **Alright, guys! This is it! I present to you today: _The one where Huntbastian is real, Blaine is a nonbeliever, Thad will go down with this ship, Wes is on Broadway, David is a ninja, Jeremy is pushed, and Niff has dibs on the HNI. _But since that's a mouthful, you can just call it _Like an Old Married Couple. _To the person who prompted this, I hope you like it. Sorry about the delay (and not knowing your name. It got deleted with the original prompt fill). I definitely had fun writing it. (:

* * *

Blaine feels of a pang of nostalgia as he walks down the familiar halls of Dalton Academy. He may be a student at McKinely now, but Dalton will _always _be his home. There are no words to describe how much he misses the Warblers. They were more than just his peers; they're family.

Normally, Dalton has a strict no-visitor policy, but for Blaine, the dean is more than willing to let it slide. Being the former lead Warbler has its perks. As he draws closer to the choir room, the sound of the Warblers rehearsing grows louder. Blaine makes a mental note to tell the New Directions to step it up a notch; the Warblers are _good_.

"Blaine!" The moment Blaine enters the room, Jeff and Nick break formation to sweep their friend into a hug. "You're back!"

"Alright," Hunter calls, turning around to face the remaining Warblers. "Take five."

Almost immediately, the Warblers disperse. Most of them swarm around the former Warbler, all shouting words of greeting. Some of them Blaine knows, others he doesn't.

"Hi Blaine!"

"Anderson! Long time no see!"

"Blaine, what the hell took you so long to come visit us? Geez!" Thad shouts, shoving a junior Warbler to the side as he makes his way to his friend. "Get out of the way, Jeremy!"

"Dude! What the heck?" Jeremy cries exasperatedly. "What was that for?"

"You were in the way," Thad shrugs, raising a hand to examine his nails. "Sorry."

The junior Warbler shoots him the bird before disappearing into the crowd, muttering obscenities to himself the entire time. Blaine turns to Thad, brow raised as if to say _was that necessary_?

"What?" the brunet asks innocently. "He was in the way."

"That was really rude, Thad."

"I apologized!"

"You didn't mean it."

"Yeah, I didn't."

Blaine rolls his eyes, desperately fighting off the urge to burst out laughing. He hadn't realized how much he missed Thad in all of quirky glory. Instead of voicing this thought aloud, he opts to give the former councilman a hug.

"C'mon Blaine!" Jeff says, tugging on his friend's sleeve impatiently. "We've got so much to tell you."

Nick nods in agreement, "Yeah! You have no idea how much stuff's happened since the last time you visited!"

"Wes is on Broadway-"

"There's a hot nameless intern in Coach Hughes' class-"

"He's playing Angel-"

"Thad married an Andrew Garfield poster-"

"Sebastian has a boyfriend-"

"You should've seen David's face when he found out Wes was in RENT-"

"Whoa!" Blaine interrupts, stopping the pair in mid-sentence. "Who's Sebastian's boyfriend?"

"I just told you that Wes - our shy, conservative mother hen - is _crossdressing on Broadway_, and you want to know who's Sebastian's boyfriend is?" Nick throws his hands in the air. "Someone doesn't have their priorities straight."

Jeff rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's antics, "It's Hunter."

Blaine stares at him with disbelief, "Seriously? Isn't Hunter straight?"

Thad bursts into hysterical laughter. He laughs so hard that he falls to the ground, clutching at his sides.

"Really? The man sang _Whistle_ with a whole bunch of preps - don't give me that look, Jeff. We're preps and you know it. You don't get gayer than that," he says between gasps.

"He has a point, Jeff," Nick points out. "But yeah, Hunter and Sebastian are definitely an item."

Blaine looks over to where the two Warblers are standing. Hunter is sitting at what used to be the council table, flipping through the Warblers' extensive collection of sheet music. Sebastian's sitting beside him, playing some game on his phone. They're not even paying attention to each other.

"I don't see it," he announces. "Are you sure you're not reading too much into this?"

"Of course not," Jeff looks offended. "Honestly Blaine. Have you no faith in us at all?"

"It's not that I don't have faith in you." Blaine holds his hands up defensively. "It's just that I don't see this so-called relationship. They look entirely too platonic to be a couple."

"Gentlemen," Nick says solemnly. "It looks like we have a nonbeliever in our midst."

"_Kill the nonbeliever_!" Thad jumps to his feet, having recovered from his laughing fit by now. "I will sink with this ship!"

"David!" Jeff calls. "We need you!"

Blaine blinks as David appears right before his very eyes. When had he gotten there? The senior manages to grab Thad by the waist, stopping the would-be assassination in its tracks.

"David! Let me go!" Thad thrashes in his friend's arms, shouting the entire way. "_THE NONBELIEVER MUST DIE!"_

"Thad, calm down."

"_I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! HUNTBASTIAN IS REAL, I TELL YOU, REAL!"_ he shrieks, clawing at David's arms. "_DAVID ANDREW THOMPSON, LET ME DOWN! I'LL TELL MOMMY YOU'RE BEING MEAN TO ME_!"

"Between classes and Broadway, I doubt Wes even has time to take personal calls." David remains unfazed by the threat. "Besides, if you did, he'd just lecture you."

It's true. Blaine can practically hear Wes' voice scolding Thad now:

_"Thad, you can't just go around murdering people! It's too messy. Plus, it could get tracked down to me, and I won't let you end my Broadway career before it begins! Who the hell cares who Sebastian's dating anyway?_"

Apparently, Thad knows it because the blood begins to drain from his face. Pleased, David drops him onto the couch.

"It's real though," he mutters mostly to himself. "Huntbastian's real; the lack of sexual tension proves it."

"I still don't believe it," Blaine shrugs. "I mean, look at them! It looks like they're fighting."

"Want to go find out?" Jeff suggests, lifting a brow suggestively. "Ready. Agent Three?"

"Copy that, Six!"

The small group makes their way over to where Hunter and Sebastian are sitting. Once they're within earshot, they stop. They don't want to draw attention to themselves after all.

"-awww, is Hunter upset because no one's paying attention to him? I know how much he likes to be in the center of attention."

"Shut up, asshole."

"It's true, and you know it. You're just mad because Blaine stole your thunder," Sebastian sings tauntingly.

"Want to keep that arm? I suggest you stop talking."

"Don't cry, Hunt. You _always _have my attention."

"See?" Jeff hisses softly, glancing at the two Warblers from the corner of his eye "They act like an old married couple."

"Sex-crazed maniac."

"Actually, I prefer the term 'sexual deviant'."

"A dysfunctional old married couple," Nick adds.

"I, for one, have never met an old couple that acts like that," Thad comments begrudgingly.

"-well, at least I don't try to sex up anything that'll stay still long enough!"

"All work and no play makes Hunter a dull boy."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that the hot nameless intern likes me more than you!"

"That's not even relevant."

Jeff lets out a growl, "Nick, you better hold me back. That hot nameless intern's _ours_; we have dibs! _In writing_!"

"Jeff, calm down!"

"How do you expect me to calm down? This is serious business!"

Blaine watches exasperatedly as Jeff seethes, a brow raised. If Jeff likes the hot nameless intern, he _must_ be hot. He glances at David, who's staring intently at his phone. Thad's still pouting, arms crossed across his chest.

"Man, I've missed you guys."

* * *

"Are they gone yet?" Sebastian murmurs, peeking at the group of Warblers from the corner of his eyes.

"Not yet," Hunter replies. "They must think we're stupid. We can hear everything they're saying."

His eyes dance with mirth, a mischievous smile on his features. He loves messing with the Warblers, especially when Thad's involved.

"We don't act like an old married couple," Sebastian comments. "I've never met an old woman who called her husband a 'sex-crazed maniac'."

"Are you comparing me to a woman?"

"Of course not. You've got too many dangly bits to be a lady."

"Did you really have to say that?"

"Say what? Dangly bits?"

"Yeah. That's so…crass."

"Did you seriously just crass? Who says that anymore?"

"Oh shut up, you."

"Make me."

"Just you wait until we get back to the dorm."

"Can't wait."


End file.
